Has left his wife on a business trip. My husband two days later sends her a telegram: "Where are the forks, knives, spoons STOP" His wife replied: "Houses have to spend the night STOP" A week later, the husband sends back a telegram: "Where are our knives forks spoons STOP" My wife again replied: "Houses have to spend the night STOP" Two weeks later, history repeats itself. Three weeks later his wife returned from a trip. My husband once asked:
- You that could not normally write, where our spoons, knives and forks?
- I told you have to spend the night at home - his wife answered, coming to the bed, threw back the blanket, and there - knives, spoons and forks.
At NATO exercises with the amphibious assault on the coast of a small transport ship was supposed to deliver on the shores of two tanks. The first tank after leaving the ramp suddenly disappeared under the water. Watching the landing of the general turned to his staff officers and carried them for dressing poorly chosen landing site. When he again looked at the landing site, he saw the officer, standing knee-deep in water.
- And what are you doing there, Lieutenant? Where the second tank? The officer took the position of "attention", saluted and reported:
- Sir, I stand on it.
The mother asks the daughter:
- Where have you been all night?
- You better ask him, with whom.
- With a national hero!
- Who is he?
- Unknown soldier.
Captain, returned from a trip round the world met each other.
- What are you so sad? - Asks a friend.
- When moored to Africa, I was raped by a monkey ...
- Well do not worry, everything will remain confidential - the monkey did not say.
- Yes, it does not say ... And not writing ... And do not call ... I forgot ...
- Our company is looking for a cashier.
- But you have taken a week ago, the cashier!
- Here it is we are looking for ...
When asked by a journalist, what qualities must have a policy, the speaker said:
- The ability to predict what would happen tomorrow, and sufficient intelligence to the next day to explain why it did not happen!
After the premiere, leaving the scene with a bouquet of carnations, the hero is drawn to keep in the hands of a basket of roses partner:
- Why do so many tears, Tanya? Listen to applaud! Do you have a huge success!
- Yes, yes ... But then you have too!
A pretty girl standing at a bus stop. Gusts of wind lift up her skirt. Suddenly she sees that it examines an unknown man.
- I see you're not a gentleman! - Resents it.
- I also see that you're not a gentleman, - he answered.
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