My husband was leaving on a business trip, my wife painted on his belly boat to take notice of erased lines, she cheated on him or not. After a night with her lover's wife noticed that the steamer erased, and asked him to draw a lover again. Husband returned home and immediately rushed to check my wife. When he saw her stomach, he jumped up and down in fury on the dance floor:
- Well, bitch, confess! ...
- Are you crazy! I have, except you, no one!
- And why did the chimney so the smoke ship fells?
Sentry strictly ordered not to allow any cars on the territory of. Soon, he stopped the car in which rode a senior officer. After hearing the explanation hour that passage is forbidden, the general ordered his driver:
- To me this is not true. Forward!
All bolt guns and asked politely:
- Excuse me, sir. I work for recently. As someone shoot me - in you or in your driver?
The soldier asked the sergeant:
- The road from here to the battlefield is too long?
- Yes, very much, but do not worry, it is unlikely you will have to return.
From the diary of a lady, traveling on the liner on the Atlantic Ocean.
"Monday. As they passed me, the captain gently smiled at me. Tuesday. In the morning the captain invited me to the bridge ... Wednesday ... Today, the captain made me an indecent proposal. Thursday. Captain threatened to sink the ship, if
I shall not give his advances. Friday. How happy I am ... Last night I was saved from certain death and four passengers, among them many women and children! "
Man falls from skyscraper. Flying past some balcony, standing there a man asked:
- Which floor?
- Well, you can still live ...
At a meeting with the deputy asked the voters:
- What is the difference between democracy and dictatorship?
- Democracy - is when people openly showing discontent with the government. Dictatorship - when people openly showing displeasure stranger Government ...
There are two friends. One complains about the other:
- Do you know how to hang clothes, always rain dampen.
- This is the surest way, - says another.
- I wake up in the morning and look under the blanket. If a member of her husband's lies to the left - to the rain, if the right - to the normal weather.
- And if he is?
- You fool! Who's on such holidays washes?
- What else can serve, sir? - He asks the waiter, trying to please a lady and gentleman who had just occupied the room in a hotel. - No, thanks, no need - responsible gentleman. - Maybe you need anything mate? - Well, that reminded me! Bring the postcard.
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