One salesman returning from a business trip and was horrified to hear how one of his two parrots repeating sweet voice: "Hold me darling, hold me, dear." In a fit of jealousy salesman wallop his wife, and the next day goes for. Upon returning, he finds the parrot-informer on the spot. Asked where he, his wife said that probably burned by love. Then the salesman asked for a second parrot, who remained in the cage:
- Tell me what happened?
- I will say - is responsible parrot - but only away from the stove and in the presence of my lawyer.
- Private - strictly asked the officer - is it true that you called the sergeant's ass?
- Very good, ordinary, that you told the truth.
Leisure in the army: the soldiers executed striptease.
Thunderous applause after every falling thing. Woman pulls the latest patch. Dead silence.
- I told you that, not like me?
- Pussy - puffing one soldier - one hand clapping uncomfortable.
Sea. Storm. For the third day of a passenger airliner suffers brutal pitching. Passengers Green, who where. One passenger leaned over the side and herbs. I pass the captain of the vessel with a pipe in his mouth. Turning away from his classes, a passenger asks the captain, pointing to the sea:
- Tell me, Captain, I see a gull sitting on water. I like the sailors would have a sign: if a seagull sat down in the water, wait for good weather. The captain looked round the horizon, clouds, and removing the pipe from his mouth:
- You know, Madame, and prostitutes are found among the gulls!
- For what a man's nose?
- In men, beauty, and for women, to shove him away should not be.
Candidate appeals to the Almighty:
- And let thy infinite goodness, God, let me break all my opponents. Amen
- Why did you not go to church?
- For three reasons, Reverend: firstly, I do not like your teachings, and secondly, I do not like your singing, and thirdly, in your church that I first saw his wife.
The hotel is very old man, accompanied by a very young woman.
- Good day, sir, - he bowed to the clerk.
- We made you a double room for you and your daughter.
- Do not you see - angry gentleman - I'm too old to have a young daughter? This is my wife!
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