The husband suspected his wife that she is unfaithful. Leaving one day, ostensibly on a business trip, he began to follow his apartment and immediately spotted a pretty young boy who carried out the night with his wife. Then he decided to take revenge on cruel and rushed to find a hitman:
- I want my wife had been shot in the head, and her lover dick shot off. The killer took all do for a thousand. My husband is looking in another city waiting for the call. Finally, at the appointed time, he grabbed the telephone:
- All right. It turned out easier than I thought - you have five hundred, and we calculated: needed only one shot.
Three officers were playing cards at home from one of them. Only distributed, suddenly jumps out of the infant son of the owner and shouted: "And the Pope two aces." There's nothing - by giving the new one. Again the son comes out and shouts: "A captain chirvovy matrimony!" Again retake. Again the son comes out and shouts: "And the lieutenant ..."
"Wait" - said the lieutenant, and took the boy to the nursery. A couple of minutes left, sat down to play again. It takes 5, 10, 15 minutes - not a boy. Boss asks:
- Lieutenant, you that have beaten him?
- How can I as an officer!
- And what do you do?
- I taught him to masturbate.
- The new uniform does not suit me, complained to the ordinary Blimp.
- Come take a breath and button, - ordered the sergeant to supply.
- I can not breathe - hardly uttered soldiers, buttoned. The sergeant brought the mirror to the lips of ordinary. The mirror surface is clouded.
- You see, - showed sergeant ordinary mirror. - You breathe normally.
- Yes, but ...
- You have forty-fourth the size, is not it?
- Yes, but ...
- You do not pay for the issues. This uniform is the forty-fourth size.
- But he is small for me.
- The uniform sewed fine. You simply monstrously complex.
funny sayings jokes
- Lieutenant! Why does the Colonel, it's a reasonable man, married to a dwarf?
- Nothing strange about it, madam. Of all the evils he chose the lesser.
Dealer (exchange) asked:
- How much is eight multiplied by eight? The dealer thinks and says:
- And we buy or sell?
In court in Istanbul said the accused:
- At his victims, I have always attacked the day. At night, I would hesitate to go with the looted money ...
- In the past you were happy when he saw me at least a few minutes a day!
- And now, too!
Guests gathered in a decent house, drinking, talking. Enters the butler and solemnly announces:
- Ladies and gentlemen, our bull just covered the white cow! Boss to him: - What are you, crazy, tell me, did not cover, but surprised. 20 minutes is the butler, and solemnly declare
- Ladies and gentlemen, our bull just surprised the red cow! He again covered the white ...
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