A young officer gets to serve on a warship, which is immediately sent on a long hike. "the captain of the first rank, and with a girl I do not have time to spend, but here such a long hike - he complained to the captain." Do not worry, Lieutenant, we have for this purpose is the cook. "" How can you - is outraged lieutenant - he's a man. "" Well, do not want, as you want, but if that posodeystvuyu. "It takes three months. The Lieutenant is coming to the commander:" captain of the first rank, you something about the Coca said ... "" Midshipman! - Calls that - bring Coke into the cabin and do not forget the lieutenant to take three more. "" Why three? - Lieutenant embarrassed - and whether we can not cook with one on one? "" You're one of them can not manage, my son. It is first necessary to knock down the legs to the bed and squeeze. "
Cadet Merchant Navy brought before the keen eyes of an old sea captain.
Ekzamenuya him, the captain asked:
- Well, young man, that you take, if the storm suddenly hit the starboard side?
- I'll give up the anchor, sir.
- What if another storm will reach the ship from the stern?
- I'll give up the second anchor, sir.
- What if a terrible storm broke out ahead?
- I'll give up another anchor.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute, young man! - Stopped him captain. - And how do you type in as many anchors?
- From there, sir, where you type in as many storms.
In September 1944, the American sappers had to build a bridge across the river Veser. Once they are joined by a bridge the river, the Germans opened fire from 88-mm guns and kept the work of deminers to nothing. Soon the ferry is being built jeep drove up. His driver had not yet managed to remove the leg from the brake pedal as the door flew open and the car jumped disgruntled general, demanding an explanation why the ferry was not ready. Ignoring the explanation of the impact parameter of the enemy fire, the general distributed to all directions and already heading for the car, imperiously tossed over his shoulder:
- The crossing should be ready before dark! At this time a shell burst nearby. General jumped into the jeep, the driver opened the throttle, but before the car disappeared from sight, until the soldiers came the cry:
- In the extreme case in the morning!
funny joke of the day
Once cornet went up to Lieutenant Rzhevsky with the question:
- Tell me, Lieutenant, why in the ladies' glove sometimes cut?
- For the cornet, so you can kiss her hand, without removing the gloves.
- Ah-ah-ah, now it is clear why the Colonel's coat were the slot!
- Doctor, I have something in bad ass!
- So what's in it might be good.
- Look here, waiter! Do you see that button on the cuff? I found it in his dish!
- Oh, I am deeply grateful, monsieur! I am looking for it everywhere.
- What is the difference between men and women?
- A woman can always, but always wanted a man - on the contrary.
Two gentlemen, meet on the deck of the ship.
- A terrible boredom, sir - says one. - Would you like to play cards?
- I would be glad to, sir, but alas, the last time I played 15 years ago.
- It's okay, I - twenty years ago. Steward, feed a pack of cards. Steward, bring maps. The first takes the deck, weighs on his hands and says:
- One card is missing. The second deck, too, was wondering on the palm and specifies:
- Yes, eight of spades.
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