Duty on part of the report to the commander:
- Comrade Colonel! During my duty, nothing significant has happened. Only the dog died.
- Why do dog die?
- Horsemeat overeaten.
- Where horseflesh.
- Merina shot.
- Driven. Water were taken. There was a fire - the headquarters burned down.
- Since this would have to start!
- I started with this and report back to your deputy, so he immediately died.
funny joke of the day
In the ministry of the U.S. Army launched another campaign to reduce staff, for which a commission was established. Member of the commission by going to one of the departments, asked the officer:
- Tell me, what are you doing here? The officer, who fed up with these campaigns, in the hearts replied:
- Did nothing! Committee member nodded, made a record in a notebook and asked another officer:
- And what kind of job you are performing here?
- Also, no, - answered the officer, in solidarity with his friend.
- Concludes, - summed up the survey committee member - there is duplication of posts.
Chief Quartermaster Service announced in a part of a campaign for saving mode. One day, watching the soldiers engaged in drill, he called the instructor and asked him:
- Sergeant, you know that the personnel have issued new shoes?
- Yes, sir.
- Then give orders to the soldiers made a wide move.
- For what, sir?
- To long did not wear shoes.
Once in the restaurant Lieutenant Rzhevskij met with the colonel. The colonel said: Lieutenant, I can see you quite often go to the restaurant almost every day. And I, behold, in such cases the money is not enough. And you asked the lieutenant, with a salary doing what you've received? Yes, all my wife will give, and there it will give me, then my own. Uh-uh, said the lieutenant, with women you do not know how to handle. Walk up to her neck in a kiss, a shoulder, take it to you and give denezhek. Colonel comes home and everything, as the lieutenant said, and did: came from behind, kisses on the neck, and she says: Well, Lieutenant, once the money ran out?
- All right, bye. The whole day you spent, it's time to go ... Needless to accompany me, do not worry.
- Well that's you! This is not a concern, it is fun!
joke bumper stickers
- How much do you need to learn to fly?
- Just do not know, about seven or eight.
There are two friends.
- They say that going barefoot is very healthy.
- Exactly! When I wake up every morning in the shoes, I have a terrible headache ...
London. Club. Outside, snow, blizzard. Front of the fireplace in the deep, comfortable chairs, two gentlemen. The aroma of expensive cigars, cognac, complete peace of mind ...
- Christmas will soon ...
- Yes, sir, Christmas ...
- Christmas - it was good ...
- Yes, sir, Christmas - well ...
- But ..., sex is better ...
- Yes, but ... sex better ... But Christmas more ...
next 115 116 117 118 119