Lieutenant arrives in a new part, the case settled, walking along the street next to the part. Saw a pretty girl - came up, met and took the bull by the horns:
- I came to you tonight I come, go in love! The girl was horrified at such an admirer makes his feet, resorted to home (and the Pope - General - Commander of the parts), eye round:
- Dad! Dad! Here you have a new lieutenant, a quirky - and so all appealed to his father. Daddy reassures:
- Do not worry, I'll watch you - in the cabinet aside. Closer to the night, General - in the closet, daughter - in bed. Shortly stated the lieutenant and his platoon. Order:
- Department of the kitchen, office to the balcony, to the office door, office to the closet!
- And himself to her daughter. In the morning, after leaving the lieutenant and platoon leader, daughter delighted to General:
- Dad! Dad! What man that the lieutenant!
- Bullshit it, daughter! But a commander!
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Officer returns home after a long absence, and the house full of children:
- So, well, this I know ... That too ... but who is this? Wife:
- So this is it you leave came last year ...
- And, well, exactly. And who, snotty sitting? Wife:
- Well, sits and sits, you then what's the difference!!
The captain, wishing to encourage their soldiers to equality constraints, turned to him with these words:
- Imagine that at the end of the band waiting for you a beautiful blonde. Immediately followed by a replica:
- It is better to be red ukrodina. Then she rushes to meet us, and we will not have to run to the end of the band!
- How did you know that the Minister of Justice - onanist?
- You might guess, he talks too much about self-control, Colonel.
- If you won a million, what would you do?
- I would give half to you. And you would have done?
- I would tell him "Thank you".
The thief asked:
- Where did the money?
- I suffered in my pocket.
An American tourist in England, said the porter at the castle:
- We made a stupid mistake. Dali's tea itself, Lord, not you.
- Ah, ah, how bad, sir. Now I do not see your tip.
South Wales, summer, the meadow grazing cow. Past is a gentleman, a cow for him turns and says:
- Good morning, sir.
- How! Can not be! Can you talk?
- Of course. We finished together with the host Oxford.
- Tell me, where is your master? Cow nose nods toward sitting on a hill shepherd. The gentleman running running to him and asked:
- Sir, this is your cow?
- Well, my - is responsible shepherd. Gentleman:
- Is it true that you had both graduated from Oxford?
- That same brehlo. She's lying. I'm not finished!
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