There comes a man in the shop and asks:
- Do you have pants?
- No, - responsible seller.
- And Sales?
joke of the day
Commander of the unit picked up the phone rang.
- Sir, you said the chief of the urban bus fleet. This is a real disgrace! When the bus 14-second route passes by your part of the barracks, the soldiers opened fire on him.
- They've hit someone?
- Fortunately, no. But they are with amazing precision strikes on tires.
- With remarkable precision, you say? Then it is not my people. Most of my professional soldiers Mazilu.
Flight school cadets RAF usually asked the same question: "What will you do if during the flight in a biplane aircraft Her Majesty the Queen will be thrown out of their seats?" The answers were very different:
- I will jump behind the queen, seized it in the air and with it'll come down by parachute.
- I kill myself!
- I will try to disappear after landing.
- I changed my name: The correct answer was: "I just leveled the aircraft to restore the aerodynamic balance, disturbed by the sudden reduction of aircraft weight.
- Why did you have on the form no emblems of our kind of troops, Private Lynch?
- I do not want to disclose, to any branch of arms belongs to our unit, Sgt.
- Abram, how's life?
- Bad. -?
- My wife is sleeping with Lord Lester.
- Yeah, bad.
- True, I sleep with my wife of the lord.
- But it's good!
- Good! I get it already had two children!
- Yes, bad ...
- True, and his wife have two children away from me.
- But then you're even?
- What "quits"? I'm doing something to him Lords, and he makes me Jewish.
- How is a woman from the yacht?
- On the first yacht mast, and then raise the sail, and a woman - on the contrary.
- Adam, why are you so late returned? With whom did you spend this evening?
- Well, what you make up? For us, Eve, in paradise, only two. But when Adam falls asleep, Eve, just in case recounts his ribs.
Morning in a respectable English family. Sir in a chair with a newspaper over his morning coffee. Lady down the stairs from the bedroom and said:
- Bad news, sir. The fact that we took during pregnancy, was not pregnant ...
- How, lady, we will have no heir?
- Unfortunately no, sir ...
- My God! Again these absurd gestures!
next 13 14 15 16 17