Dialogue two soloists of ballet:
- Why do not you get into the rhythm?
- Yes music knocks ...
joke of the day
During the training, the commander asked the Chief of Engineers, report to him, as units are shipped to another river.
- If my assessment of the thickness of ice on the river was correct, they are currently ferried across the ice, if not, then swim - was the answer.
joke of the day
The classes of tactical training instructor has set cadet challenge:
- Imagine cadet bedlam that you move through the wilderness and suddenly you see, as hidden behind a stone in your aims of the enemy sniper. Your actions?
- I will try to shoot first.
- You pull the trigger, but the shutter jammed, and the shot came.
- Then I'll throw a grenade at the enemy.
- You have thrown, but the fuse did not work, and the grenade did not explode.
- The rapid roll I'll hit the enemy with his bayonet.
- You struck, but missed and broke a bayonet on a stone. Opponents threw at you with a knife.
- I will climb a tree.
- But the desert trees.
- Look, sir! - Exclaimed the student, completely stymied. - I do not understand on whose side are you - or to my enemy?
joke of the day
- I see from the records of patients in the book that you are complaining about pains in the throat? - Asked the doctor.
- Yes, - said in a hoarse voice of the ordinary musical team.
- Do you strongly inflamed throat - a doctor, examined the patient.
- You can not tense up, playing in an orchestra. 'll Have to release you for a week of service. Going to the reception a week. Over the weekend, the musician went to the doctor. After examining him, he said:
- Now everything is normal. You can play in an orchestra. By the way, what instrument do you play?
- On the drum, sir, - answered musicians.
They arrested the old Jew, led into the police station. Towards another Jew:
- Abram, where are you going? - On the hunt. - A gun where? - Over there, behind the bear!
How is a woman from the tree?
- Sawing tree first, and then knocked, a woman - on the contrary.
short funny jokes
Swanson played golf.
- Damn it! Again he missed! - He swore when he was unlucky.
- Do not be so expressed. The Lord will hear and will impress you with lightning, heavenly! - Patronizingly said, happened to be beside the pastor. And indeed a flash of lightning struck and ... pastor.
- Damn it! Missed! - Resounded from heaven ...
At the table sits a decent English family: the Lord, ladies and two daughters. The money they have run out, the maid did not contain everything, but you ought to wash the dishes after dinner. It was decided so that someone will say the first word that comes to wash the dishes. Sit - silent. At this time his car arrives groom the younger daughter of Lord. He went into the house, greeted her, tried to engage in conversation, but nobody answers. Then he took, and made his bride that was going to do in the wedding night. Everyone is silent. Then he did the same with the eldest daughter of Lord. Everyone is silent. Then he broke and made a lord and his wife that was not going to do with it, and again all are silent. He left the house, got into his car and drove off. At the turn of his much creaking brakes. Again he went into the house and asked:
- Excuse me, you will not find Vaseline?
Old Lord silently gets up and goes to wash the dishes ...
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