- A soldier is responsible for the good name of his unit and his commander, - taught in the classroom instructor. - Are there any among you a man who does not plead for his commander if he would be insulted? Because of the last table stood an ordinary small.
- What is it, Private Jones? - Exclaimed the instructor. - You do not stand up for his officer, when he will be insulted?
- Oh, excuse me, sir! I thought you said "kill".
Lieutenant scolds trainee:
- What are you, comrade cadet, a rough square painted? Are you colorblind?
The army duties strictly distributed. Everything up to and including lieutenant should be able to work independently. The captain must be able to organize work. Major must know where that is. Colonel should be able to report that which is done. Colonel should be able to find their own place in the papers, where he was laid to sign. General should be able to independently sign where he told.
Jew comes to the rabbi.
- Rabbi, I have a problem: the son had gone to Christianity, was baptized. What?
- Well, I have to consult with God, come back tomorrow. The next day he comes and asks what God said. The rabbi replied:
- God says, he has the same problem.
The doctor listens to the patient and says:
- Well, well ...
- Doctor, but what good?
- Well, I had a no!
Two boys peeping into a room where a journalist with the scissors busy with books.
- Why did your father kills books?
- He does not destroy the book, but creates his own.
Two other cowboy Bill and Joe get lost in the American wilderness. And it must be the same failure, Joe was bitten by a snake just behind the dick. Here's Bill calling the doctor:
- Doc, then my friend was bitten by a snake. What should I do?
- What should urgently suck bite. Bill hangs up. Joe:
- Well said, Doc?
- Hey, have you been doing gymnastics as a child?
- He said that you will die.
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