At the drill of the platoon rookie sprained his leg and was forced to leave the system. Platoon, not realizing what was happening, shouted at the soldiers:
- Private Burns, to what hell you think you going?
Private not have to wait long to answer:
- And what to hell, you think I am going?
The platoon commander immediately stopped the convoy and went to the recruit.
- What did you say?
- What you have heard.
- Private Burns, you'll have me working drill until nightfall today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
- But for what?
- Over profanity.
Mayor holds a speech to cadets:
- Comrades cadets, why did you fall without a hat go? Must wear caps, and not get sick with meningitis. It's such a terrible disease: only two outcomes - or died, or a fool. So my brother and I hurt ... My brother is dead!
Muckraking reporter sticks to his wife the famous test pilot:
- And the last question: when your husband does aerobatics, you are not worried that he makes a mistake and do something wrong?
- No, no! After last night we had spend a dress rehearsal.
- How? In the plane?
- No ... By plane, I am.
There are a mullah, rabbi and priest. The beginning of all religious talk to, and finally started talking and went to talk about how the money collected from the parishioners to share, how to repair the church (synagogue, mosque) to allocate as yourself to keep living. Mulla said:
- I collect all the money that brought me to the congregation, drawing on the ground a circle, move away a meter or two, and throw money into the circle. What's inside will get, I give to God (the mosque). What remains outside, I take myself for a living. The priest enters.
- I also collect all the money and draw a line on the ground. Depart for a couple of feet and throw. The money that the fly line, I give to God, and the rest taken.
- No. All this is very difficult. I also collect all the money, but do not draw a circle, do not draw the line. I just throw the money up. With God it is necessary, he himself would.
- Well, what do you think about these candidates?
- What? Yes, we were simply lucky to pick just one!
- Tell me, mister, but for what you strap on a helmet? - Asks a little boy with a fat fireman.
- And so in order to make it to the head did not fall.
- Well, - a disappointed stretches boy - and I thought that the face is not broken.
Episode 1. A pregnant woman goes to Chicago. Suddenly the sweep past the car with gangsters shooting at a nearby office, panic, scream, etc. The result - one of the queues woman sews her stomach.
Episode 2. It has been 15 years. The typical American Cottage. Female 15 years old in tears ran over to her mother.
- What happened, darling?
- Mama, I'm writing and my dropped a bullet!
- Nothing, dear, many years ago that's what happened: By. An hour later, runs in an excited son:
- Mom, you know, terrible thing has happened!
- I know, son, you wrote and ...
- No, Mama. I Jerking and shot his grandmother.
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