A pretty young girl comes in full bus, sees a young man sitting on the ground for the disabled, and says:
- Assign, please, a place for me, I - disabled. He conceded, but asked:
- And what is your disability?
- You know, my husband on a business trip, and I'm not a member - as without hands.
The classes on UGS instructor wrote on the blackboard the formula. Then he turned to the class and calling the name of deliberating student, asked:
- What is the formula, the cadet Smith?
- This ... is ... Well, sir, turns on the tip of your tongue, but I could not remember - began to get out of the cadet.
- In this case, - said the instructor - you'd better Spit. This - Lewisite.
Can the General's son to become a marshal? No, because Marshall has its own sons.
Jew arrives in New York, walks into a restaurant and asked the director, where you can find Sarah. He shows him the girl behind the bar. Abram comes up to her and said:
- Girl, you are so beautiful, I really like, I offer you $ 200. Sarah looked up - a short, bald, ugly, but $ 200 in New York - money, and agreed. The next day again the same thing ...
On the third day, lying in bed with Abram, Sarah asks:
- Tell me, how did you come so rich in our town?
- From Jerusalem - meets Abraham.
- Oh, my aunt was there live!
- So she asked me to give you $ 600.
- Chef raised my salary when I learned that I gave my son his name.
- And me, too, he added, but for the fact that I am his son did not give his name.
jokes of the day one liners
There are three kinds of love. Student: What is there to anyone, but nowhere. Impotentskaya: have someone there where, but nothing. Philosophical: there than there are with whom, where there is, but - why?
An American sailor from a long campaign wrote a letter to his bride: "You are if you go far, then try to look primarily at the floor." Ta - a surprise wrote the answer: "Why?" Gets the answer: "Because when I get back, you will look primarily at the ceiling."
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