- Vladimir, you have a mom all day in bed. It is that sick?
- No, afraid that the Pope propet bed.
free jokes
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christmas jokes
:
Sergeant, drillmaster, will hold the first session with new recruits. One team followed another: "Forward - march!", "Stop!", "Right!", "Left", "About face!" etc. Private Olson put up with this ten minutes, and then threw the rifle down and went to the barracks.
- Hey, - he hailed enraged sergeant - where are you going?
- I'm through, - answered the young soldier, - I can not deal with the commander, who does not know what he wants.
good jokes
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christmas jokes
:
- What men must do if a crow sat on the trunk of the machine?
- Wake up, Comrade Lieutenant.
funniest jokes
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christmas jokes
:
Private Douglas was taken to hospital with a wounded arm.
- Tell me, doctor, - he asked the surgeon - my hand will remain lame?
- Do not worry, be like new.
- And I'll be able to play the piano?
- Without a doubt.
- Well, Doctor, you're just a magician! I have never played on the piano.
hilarious jokes
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- Abram, I heard your daughter is getting married?
- Yes, it ... little.
short funny jokes
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How is a woman from the bottle?
- First fill the bottle, and then silenced, and a woman - on the contrary.
one liners jokes
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On the hunt:
- Why do not you shoot this hare?
- Do not you see how running? Maybe even mad, to Hell with it!
The gentleman took off in a hotel room. In the evening, like a true gentleman, he took off his coat, put on pajamas and went to sleep. Suddenly a knock at the door. He perfectly the gentleman took pajamas, put on coat, lit a cigar, and opened the door.
- Sir, you will not find you have a glass of water?
- Certainly, sir, - he said, and brought him a glass of water. After that, he as a true gentleman off coat, put on pajamas and went to sleep. A knock at the door. He was like a true gentleman off his pajamas, put on coat, lit a cigar and opened the door.
- Sir, you will not find you have a glass of water?
- Certainly, sir - "he said. This lasted all night. In the morning.
- Sir, do you have a glass of water?
- Sure, but why do you all night, go and ask me for a glass of water?
- Fire, sir.
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