Mom goes on a business trip and said goodbye to the children:
- Children, I will not be soon. What do you bring a gift? A boy or a girl?
Little Johnny is taking his little sister, goes to a meeting room. Leave with downcast eyes, suited to my mother:
- Mom, we love you very much, we do not want a gift, it is better to have an abortion.
- Are you all right, - a military doctor said reassuringly, caused to a soldier who become ill while on vacation. - You have excellent health, and the pulse beats like a clock.
- But, sir, - protested the soldiers, you hold your hand right on my watch.
- Rifle for the soldier - the best friend, is not it?
- I do not know, Herr General! Yesterday, when I was cleaning it, she shot me in the leg!
jokes of the day
- You're right, Sergeant. This skinny soldier is not suitable for heavy work.
Use it to clean the guns.
- Yes, sir! And whom to appoint to drag it through the barrel?
one line jokes
Chaim Abram called the fool. Rabbi Chaim demanded an apology.
- Yes, I do not know how to do it!
- Very simple, you say: "Abraham is not a fool, I'm sorry." In the prayer day, Haim goes to the middle of the synagogue:
- Abram's not a fool? Sorry ...
There are two friends. One two weeks ago, got married. The second curiosity:
- Well, as you family life?
- Yes, so-so, nothing. Only now, imagine, and Jean-fact, it turns out, drink ...
- How to drink! You're two years were familiar! And you did not know?
- So after two years everything was fine, but then yesterday he came sober!
At the boat station:
- Boat number 99 with you that something happened?
- ... silence ...
- Again! Boat number 99 with you that something happened? (Someone yells in reply):
- Yes we have here, only 80 boats!
- Boat number 66 with you that something happened?
Roast beef and pudding talk among themselves:
- What we have for dinner today?
- As usual, the British.
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