Arnold Schwarzenegger visiting his mistress. The doorbell. Schwarzenegger quickly hides in a closet. Bursts enraged husband and shouting, "I know that you have someone there!" Begins to break new cabinets doors and cabinets. Finally open the cupboard where hides Schwarzenegger. Arnold:
- Well, have you found? Male (prihlopyvaya door):
- No, I'm still in the kitchen look ...
Her husband returned home from a trip home ... Houses - wife with her lover! Lover (strapping young man) lacks her husband's breast and voloket the kitchen, put in the center of the circle outlines the terms of her husband and says: "get out of the circle - I'll kill you!" Returned to the bedroom and continued to make love to his wife. A few minutes from the kitchen is heard hysterical laughter - once, twice, three ... Fellow does not stand up, rises and goes to the kitchen, where I found "dying" from laughter husband. a questioning glance husband responds: "As long as you love doing it, I have three times the circle-out
- Comrade cadet, what you do?
- When will end - Come here!
Classes for the assembly and disassembly of weapons. Sergeant:
- Any questions?
- Yes, comrade sergeant! Why rifle can be assembled and disassemble, but a man can not?
- Question understand answer. That's imagine that you unscrewed itself, went to bed, and then alarm. You're in a hurry all screw together, and put his head in place ass. And what happens: no nalazit cap, tunic does not close: all shout "hurray", and you?
The bishop asks the rabbi:
- Have you ever tried pork?
- To be honest, once in my youth I succumbed to curiosity and tried. And now frankness frankness: could you have never had a woman?
- Yes, there was one incident in my youth ... Rabbi:
- Tell the truth and in fact it is much better than pork?
Doctor - patient:
- How do you treat your lice?
- And nothing - they are, I do not get sick.
yo mama jokes
- It is interesting happens: I'll invite you to drink to my health, and you hleschesh the fifth glass!
- Sorry, but you look so bad!
Taking place in England competition in archery. Target - apple from the servant on the head. It turns out the first shooter: wearing - nice, onion - silver sparkles, shoots - goes directly into the apple. Suitable for judges - said:
- I Am Robin Good! Applause. It turns out the second shooter: wearing - well, onion - gold glitters shoots - falls into the first boom. Suitable for judges - says:
- I Am Rishard Lion Neart! Loud applause. It turns out the third shooter: clothes - dirty, ragged, onion - a curve piece of wood, string - from an ordinary rope, boom - the curve of liquor - a mile is, shoots - will get a servant to face - face in the blood of O. Suitable for judges - said :
- I Am sorru.
next 3 4 5 6 7