The young beauty, with noise opens the door literally burst into the room and told a friend:
- Well, the evening was for me today! I met quite a nice guy, we had sat at the bar, and then went for a walk in the park. So, you know, the first day of our acquaintance, I had to give him three times in the face!
- Is he bothering you? - Interested friend.
- If ... I kept trying to make sure that he is not asleep!
A craftsman made watches, which in the utterance of obscene words in a hurry for one minute. To test the clock hung in the kindergarten, in school, and in the military unit. A month later decided to check the results of the experiment. In kindergarten hours had gone ahead on 10 minutes, at the school - half an hour. They came to a military unit - not hours! Asked the orderly:
- Where to watch go?
- What are the hours? A. .. This fan commander ordered to withdraw the next day.
A student after his conversation with the sergeant out of the room and very much slams the door, and then receives a reprimand from the elders for "discourtesy behavior with a wooden door."
The sergeant is in the barracks after lights out. Sees that no one sleeps.
- According to my team's eyes to close off! Behind, Ivanov, mouse can not hear.
Dying old Jew (CE) ... And crowding around the family: Sarah, Moshe, Abraham, Lev Yoska and so on. Waiting for the old Jew something to say farewell. CE: Well, I'm leaving you ... In parting, I want to ask your forgiveness. Sarah, do you remember caught stealing? This I snitched, forgive me. Sarah: Well that was it was ... CE: Moishe, do you remember sitting for three years? This, too, I'm sorry. Moshe: What's your take, I forgive you ... And so recognized. CE: Now promise me that fulfill my last request. All: Sure will do. CE: When I die Shove me in the ass watermelon! All: But how can ... What do you mean .. CE: I so want! And he died. All had difficulty performing the last wish of saying: You should be over your deeds in life had done so! There is a knock at the door and a voice: Go! Police! We received a call that is made fun of a corpse!
yo mama jokes
- Hi, Bob. You looking for sheriff. He suspects that you have killed Senator Green. Do you have an alibi?
- Of course, at this time I was finishing a priest Brown.
- I heard you were at a banquet on Saturday and fell asleep under the table.
- I also heard that someone had crawled under the table and dryh there, but did not know it was me.
Two gentlemen, after a stormy night held out of the restaurant. It is still dark.
- Do you hear, John, how beautiful singing lark?
- No it is not a lark, it sings trout.
- You're mad! Trout? Night?
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