After a long trip the husband returns home. Wife says to him:
- Darling! You even kissed me!
- But, my dear! - He answers. - After six years of marriage - such orgies!
A young farmer, called to military service, in a letter home, wrote: "This Army life - a pure pleasure. You can lie in bed till five o'clock in the morning."
- Fritz Dietrich! You are charged that during the Russian attacks fled to the West ...
- Good Lord, Herr Judge! But I'm catching up Oberleutnant von Grabbe, to tell him that the soldiers had run away ...
Dorodny sergeant, posing as his platoon, said:
- And do not think to play me. I am strong enough to otdubasit any of you. Then down came recruit more portly than the sergeant and said:
- I do not otdubasish! The sergeant saw him a few seconds and then announced:
- Consider that from this moment you are transferred to another platoon.
very funny jokes
- What to do if dreams are dreams in a foreign language?
- It is necessary to bring an interpreter.
Rabinovich comes to the rabbi:
- The Rebbe, however, a sandwich always falls buttered side down?
- Rabbi, you'll laugh, but I have a sandwich today fell butter side up!
- Do not be! - Shouted the Rabbi. Then he thought for a moment and said:
- Yeah, of course! You buttered the opposite direction!
- Calm down: your head wound was quite severe, but the main thing - we were able to avoid amputation ...
The aircraft in the air breaks down and begins to fall. Passengers in a panic grab parachutes, but all is not enough. The Englishman as a true gentleman, shouted:
- Gentlemen, we must all parachutes given to women!
- A dick in his ass!
- And plenty of time?
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