A soldier on leave, he sent a telegram to his commander: "Please extend the leave for five days - met this angel." The commander replied: "An Jones given two extra days of leave in order to descend from heaven to earth."
At the military parade held infantry, tanks, cannons, missiles. After the parade, the father asked little son:
- Well, what do you think was best?
- Ice cream, papa.
Sergeant asked the soldier:
- It's true, Kuz'kin that you're an electrician?
- Yes, Comrade Lieutenant.
- I'll find work in the specialty. Will check at 23.00, off a light in the barracks.
At the shooting range sergeant screamed in fright at the recruit:
- Cease fire! You just do not fall into our Colonel!
- It must be the same for the first time I shot, and nearly laid a colonel. Is not it cool? - Said the young warrior.
Husband and wife come out of the church.
- I noticed that you threw in a cup for donations and five thousand pounds!
- So what?
- I wonder what sin you have committed to so much to give God knows what ...
Jew comes to the rabbi:
- I have ten children and his wife was pregnant, I can not feed a horde!
- This can help. Open a wise book, the Talmud in 2326 the first page and read: "If the Jews had many children, his wife is pregnant and he does not want them anymore, then he must cut off one egg." One year later:
- I cut one egg, and my wife is pregnant again!
- Open a wise book, the Talmud in 2327 the first page and read: "If the Jews had cut off one egg, but his wife was pregnant again, then he must cut off the second egg" One year later:
- I cut the second egg, and my wife is pregnant again!
- Open a wise book, the Talmud on the 2328-th page and read: "If the Jews had cut off two eggs, but his wife was pregnant again, so not to cut off the Jew egg!"
The first of January. Call a friend:
- Jackdaw? Well spent the new year?
- Ah As usual, in bed ...
- And there were many people?
A foreign sailor once asked his British counterpart, why the British navy so often prevails.
- It's easy to explain, - said the Englishman. - We always pray before the battle.
- But we also pray! - Exclaimed the foreigner.
- But we pray in English!
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