Soldier was summoned to the commander:
- Why the dismissal yesterday, walking in the zoo, you threw tear gas grenades, designed to disperse the demonstrations, in a pond of crocodiles?
- I wanted to see the last crocodile tears, sir, - answered fan of biology.
A group of foreign tourists in Washington looks at a new building near the Pentagon.
- Why was this skyscraper? - Asks one tourist.
- This is the place where the military kept the case deserters - explains the guide.
During target practice soldiers reported:
- Corporal, shells over!
- All single one?
- Cease fire!
- Cook Smith, today you have prepared an exceptional meal.
- Is, Sergeant?
- Yes, even I am sick of it.
In the office of the breaks in an angry man.
- Here is the Humane Society? - He shouted.
- Here, - the employee is responsible - and you hurt someone?
- Sarah, you heard yesterday, my husband Fima cut glands?
- Poor girl, she wanted to have a child.
Executed as something of an optimist, a pessimist and a pain guillotine.
- Optimist, your last word.
- The world is beautiful, and even when I die, it will become even more beautiful. The guillotine did not work - optimist released.
- The pessimist, your last word.
- Everything in this world is bad, and my death will make it even worse. Guillotine again did not work - too pessimistic released.
- A bore, your last word.
- Say, only you first guillotine to fix it.
English lady calls waiter:
- You go now to my mother in law Mrs Chatterley in hospital, she was very seriously ill, and inquired about her state of health. The waiter left and returned three hours later.
- Well? You were with Mrs. Chatterley? They asked how she feels?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Well, you can go.
next 49 50 51 52 53