Head of the organization call traffic police chief:
- We send a mission abroad, driver's car, but he lost his rights. What?
- Very simple. Needless to send abroad Razin.
- Take me to the army, though the war-I'm brave! Commissar:
- Become the wall. He took a pistol and began shooting around the recruit.
Shots closer, even brushed his hat. After the executions Commissar put a pistol on the table:
- Yes, you're really brave man. Per cap I will, of course, pay ...
- And for the pants?
Department of digging a ditch.
- Poor Henry, - said one soldier to another, - with its short-sightedness he urabotaetsya to death.
- What do you mean short-sightedness?
- He can not see when the sergeant looked at him, so he has to swing a shovel without respite.
The inscription on the burial site of an army mule: "Here lies a mule Magee, a favorite of unit who for my life kicked two colonels, four majors, ten captains, 24 lieutenant, 42 sergeants, 486 rank and file, and one mine."
Two friends chatting over a glass of gin.
- They say you taught your wife to play bridge? - Curiosity is one of them.
- Yes, you know, it was a great idea, - says the second. - Last Wednesday, for example, I won it for almost half of his salary.
Jew comes to the tailor:
- When finally be ready my pants! You sew them for a month! God created the world for a week!
- So take a look at these pants and look at this world!
joke a day
- Listen, frankly: why did you marry?
- Yes, that's ... He did not like to eat in the dining ...
- And now?
- Now I love.
In the English club.
- Gentlemen, yesterday befallen me a curious story. Imagine: a cold rainy night, I sit by the fireplace. Suddenly - a knock at the door. Open and see a lovely lady, soaking wet from the rain ...
- And then what?
- Of course, I let her. She shivered and asked for whiskey, but it is not warmed her, and she asked permission to sit on my lap.
- Now, and?
- I swear, gentlemen, and in less than six months, she will be mine!
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