The man returned from a trip to Africa. His friend asked:
- Why are you so sad?
- Understand .. I lived in Africa with a monkey ..
- Yes, but .. Never mind - I will not tell anyone, and she will not tell!
- The fact of the matter ... Do not tell, do not write, do not call ...
Samovolschik tells his friend:
- Suddenly I see - on the corner there is a military policeman and looks at me as though I can not leave.
- And what did you do?
- I looked at him as if I have it.
The soldier, badly bust, barely dobrel to the barracks and there fell into the cesspool. Its out with great difficulty dragged out and brought to their senses.
- Well, you're fine! At the same depth of what you fail?
- And what you yourself could not get out?
- And I fell upside down!
The sergeant gave a lecture on insignia:
- By what you will learn the regimental doctor? - He asks one of their recruits.
- The pharmacy smell, sir!
Old woman with a pram is considering:
- What lovely twins! Both the boy?
- Not only on the left, "replied Dad. - Right melon!
joke a day
Poor Jew comes to the matchmaker:
- I need to make the girl was young, beautiful, smart and rich.
- What? - Indignant matchmaker. - If a girl agrees to marry such a ragamuffin like you mean it's crazy!
- Well, if it is all about what I said, I agree, let him be mad.
One quartermaster told another:
- I had a dream last night that I created a new ration, which was tasty, but ...
- Go on, go!
- But when I awoke, I discovered that chewed a corner of the mattress.
In a brothel in the girls department telephone calls English lord:
- Please send me, a prostitute at the house.
- What will you?
- The thickest, which can be found. -? Comes to the German prostitute, well, immense - one fat. Lord greets her politely and invites you to go into the next room. Pass. The Lord says - Undress please. That undressing, and on the face of the Lord begins to show a blissful smile. The Lord asks the prostitute to get up on all fours, and when it does it loudly shouted: - "Bobo!". Runs a huge dog and the Lord he said:
- If, Bobo, you'll eat so much, you'll be just like the lady!
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