When Rustem returned from Japan, where he was on a business trip, your friends asked how he explained, not knowing the Japanese language.
- I must say there have been difficulties - Rustem admitted. - For example, when I wanted to buy smelting and gestures explained that I need, the seller brought a knife to commit hara-kiri.
Military driver, leading the car at night, fell asleep at the wheel. He woke up when the truck, after breaking the wall, drove into a roadside cottage, waking the owners. The driver got out of the cab and did not find anything better than to ask how to get him to a military base. The hostess replied coldly:
- Straight through the kitchen, then left at the piano, and farther along the hallway.
The exercise Lieutenant beckons soldier:
- Do you see down there, the railway station? Do it so that it no one can take. An hour later the soldiers reported that the order is made.
- Well done! How do you manage it?
- Very simple. Here, in this big bag, are all rail tickets.
Sergeant Abatsky asked the young artilleryman:
- What will you do if you have a flight, that is, you shoot too far?
- Pull the gun back.
joke a day
- So you want to marry me? - She asks.
- Yes, - he answered.
- But you know me only three days ago!
- Oh no! I know you already almost two years ... Since then, both entered the bank, which holds the money your father.
- Tell me, dear friend - a Jew asked his friend, a Christian, I want tomorrow to be baptized. How should I dress?
- With every desire can not answer: in our family for this use diapers.
Disciplinary Tribunal considered the case of ordinary O'Connor, who was accused that he slept on duty while on guard duty. Eyewitnesses said that during the inspection duty hour privates O'Connor was not on duty. As a result of the search time was found in the barracks sleeping on his bed. The Court held: "Since the accused, leaving his post, stopped, thereby sentry duty, he can not take sleeping on duty. Based on the foregoing, the court decides to take charge is not contested, but the ordinary O'Connor innocent."
One day, Bernard Shaw dropped the phrase that all women are corrupt. The Queen heard of this, at a meeting with Shaw, said:
- Is it true, sir, that you assert that all women are corrupt?
- Yes, Your Majesty.
- And I? - Outraged queen.
- And you too, your majesty, - calmly replied Shaw.
- And what do I stand? - Burst from the Queen.
- Ten thousand pounds - immediately identified Shaw.
- What is so cheap! - Astonished the queen.
- You see, you already haggling - smiled playwright.
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