Dad on a business trip. Mother detained after work, come late, in new dress.
- What a beautiful dress! What kind of earrings! - Admired by children. - Dad bought?
- Papa, papa, - admiring herself in the mirror Mom. - The pope hoped - and you would not have.
Major Air Force decided to stop the soldier, not greeting him salute, and gave him a suggestion of military courtesy.
- Sergeant! - He called, but the soldier did not even turn around. And then the Major saw that before him was not a sergeant, a sergeant Navy.
- Why did you fail to comply with the orders of senior rank? - He asked the foreman, still stopped him.
- But, sir, - explained the foreman, - I did not know that you called me. I'm not a sergeant.
- In that case, tell me what title you would have in the Air Force?
- Oh - Exclaimed the sergeant. - In the Air Force, I think I would be a major.
Petty teaches the soldier to throw a hand grenade.
- Here the ring. How to flee, grenade hissing. Then throw. (Stepped aside.) Well, pull the ring!
- Catch, Sergeant!
joke a day
At the field training sergeant gives the command:
- Bypass the enemy's flanks. Half of the offices - the left half - on the right. The rest - for me!
Her husband, who returned from a trip ahead of time, heard the noise in the closet. Opens the door - almost falls out naked man in a fur coat of his wife.
- Who are you?
- Do not you see - mole?
- A coat which has suffered?
- Houses doem.
Little Moshe kicked out of school (Jewish) for academic failure and bad behavior. Transferred to another (also Jewish) a couple of months and expelled from there for the same reasons. Transferred to another - the same way. After some time in the city was left of Jewish schools, and Moshe was transferred to a Catholic. A week later, causing his father and tell him how good his son as well he learns and what he did - the best student of the school, etc. My father returned home in confusion asked her son:
- Moishe, what happened to you? Here mene say that you are the best student, do not vandalize, etc. What is it they do?
- You know, Dad, on the first day when I came to this school, a man in black took me in some dark room - showed me a man who was crucified on the cross and said: "Moishe, look - it is Jesus Christ - he was also a Jew, "and I realized Dad, what's better to be silent.
Come on, beautiful stranger! I'm bald, fat, stupid. But if I was someone to love, I'll begin doing exercises and reading books.
Old English Earl picked married some young lady. It comes to the wedding night. Graf, John Butler calls and asks to hold the chandelier. After completing his business, he asked his wife:
- Well, how are you, darling? Ta:
- Not very ... Then the Count turned to John:
- John, take my place, and I'll hold chandelier ... When John finished the Count asks:
- Well, dear, how you feel at this time?
- WoW! It was insredable! Count:
- You see John as important to know how to keep the chandelier!
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