Her husband suddenly returned from a business trip and discovers on the nightstand cigar.
- Where is the cigar? His wife was silent.
- I was the last time I ask, where a cigar?
- Yes, from Havana, you fool! - Come from the cabinet.
- Captain Henderson, - said the military prosecutor, - explain the military court of higher jurisdiction, what happened in your company the seventh of September.
- On this day, I held classes for drill and gave ordinary Gaines, click "Run!", But he did not comply. I again gave the command "Run!". But the soldier kept walking step.
- Private Gaines - Chief Justice turned to the violator of discipline, - refusing to obey orders an officer, you are committing a serious crime. Why have you not complied with the order?
- Sir, - replied the soldier, - as you know, under the statute after the provisional team must be made executive team.
- Yes, it is, - confirmed the Chief Justice.
- But the whole thing is just that only the captain filed a provisional command "Run!", And the executive command "Go!" not filed. The court ruled that ordinary Gaines was found not guilty
joke a day
- How is the brave soldiers from the precautionary? - Asked rookie Brown senior soldiers.
- The brave soldiers come to sergeant Gilberto and loudly for all to say everything he thinks about it.
- And how do the cautious soldier?
- He will say all the same, but on the phone.
The captain, who meets with the new reinforcements, drawn to the sergeant:
- And why you are so strange set: all high, big recruits come, but small, shabby - behind?
- Excuse me, sir, but in civilian life I had a fruit shop.
- How are men's underwear from women?
- In men's underwear climb down, and in women's - hands.
The guy comes to the doctor
- Dr. castrate me.
- Why did you do? Like young ...
- Please, and if possible more quickly
... After the operation ...
- Can you still tell me why it is you?
- You know, I'm getting married to a Jew.
- ... So they have the same cutoff.
- ... And that, I do not say that?
funny one line jokes
On logging resulted's new - a little guy. Loggers looked - well, what to do with this? They told her to chop sticks. Piled up three trees, and went for lunch, and left's new. They come from lunch - half of the forest were cut down! Lumberjacks in amazement:
- Man, are you from?
- From the Sahara!
- As of the Sahara? There because there is no timber!
- And you will not!
Switzerland. Mountain resort. Do not season. Arrived two Englishmen. A week walking around the hotel, finally, were introduced to each other bartender. In the evening sitting at a table in the bar. The first starts the conversation:
- Excuse me, sir, but did not discuss whether our latest news in the Times?
- Yes, you know, sir, I once tried to ... I did not like. Silent. The first begins again:
- Excuse me, sir, not whether we play a game of bridge?
- Well, you know, sir, I once tried ... me not like. Again they were silent. First makes the third attempt:
- Excuse me, sir, but do not drink for us to drink whiskey?
- Yes, you know, sir, I once tried to ... I did not like, but here's my eldest son ...
- Excuse me, sir, you have more and younger son?
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