My husband goes on business trips. Wife says:
- In this city lives Aunt Jeanne. You can stop it. Allowance retained. Her husband returned home from a trip.
- Well, how? Daily preserved?
- Per diem, then saved it. Monthly disappeared!
joke a day
One American newspaper, organized a competition for the best story. Conditions of the competition were as follows: the story must be gay, about the war, no longer than 100 words. The first contest took place at the following story ... "Private Jones went to the toilet and broke out the board. Sergeant Thompson ran into the toilet to relieve himself and fell into the shit ... The remaining 72 words said Sergeant Thompson, getting out of shit."
Local and visiting Jews are at the tombstone with the inscription "To the Unknown Jewish soldiers. Newcomer laments:
- It can not be know who this is?
- Why not? Everyone knows that there is Chaim Rabinovich.
- So where are the unknown soldier?
- It is not known whether Chaim Rabinovich soldier.
Sergeant, conducts classes for new recruits, shouting at his subordinates:
- Hey you, cuttlefish, crawl faster! The ongoing Colonel makes note:
- Not calling them these words, which they do not understand. How do they know nerds?
A melancholy man sees a friend:
- It's all relative in this world ...
- What do you mean?
- One hundred dollars, which does not know my wife, I am much more expensive than a thousand, of which she knows.
funny one line jokes
The unit of American Rangers hung a placard: "If you kill for pleasure, you're a sadist. If you kill for money, you're hired. If you kill for, and of both, you're a ranger."
funny one liners jokes
You know that the planes used by small black boxes, which are not destroyed. Why not make the whole plane out of the same material?
Going to bed, the old woman asks his old man:
- You lock the door shut on the bottom?
- Closed - meets an old man.
- And an English castle is closed?
- And the chain has closed?
- And on the hook to close?
- Oh, I forgot.
- Well, come on, people, take what you want!
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