Conversation of two children. The first says:
- Mom to Dad today cursed ...
- And from a business trip he had not brought daily ...
- It's that ... We have a mother from a business trip monthly not brought.
joke a day
- So what is happening to you, Private Bridges?
- I have a vision, sir.
- What kind of vision?
- When last Sunday I was in town, I saw every corner of the military police. I was very nervous.
- I want to give you advice, private. The next time will be absent from the location of parts, sure to have a leave pass a note.
joke a day
At the Jewish cemetery burying his mother young son, lamenting:
- And ask, my son, Lord, that Sarochka married. And ask him to his uncle, Chaim recovered. And that Nathan did not have a soldier ... Finally, standing beside the grave-digger does not hold:
- Listen, my dear, if you have so many cases to the Lord God, had to go the most, but not send nesmyshlenogo boy.
joke a day
Smith was ordered to clean the ordinary bucket of potatoes.
- In our space age in the army must already be a machine for peeling potatoes, - muttered Smith.
- Of course, you imagine its latest model, - said the sergeant.
funny one line jokes
- Waiter, I fly in my soup! The waiter takes the plate brings a new, and there are swimming for seven flies.
- Well, it better?
funny one liners jokes
Journalist talks with Henry Kissinger.
- Tell me, Mr. Kissinger, you are considered the inventor of the "shuttle diplomacy". Explain what it is, as an example?
- Oh, it's very simple - responsible .- Kissinger say, I come to the Rockefeller and said: "Listen, Rockefeller, you want to have his son-in steep Siberian peasant?"
- Poof - said Rockefeller .- What are you?
- And if it will still be a client of a Swiss bank?
- Oh, that's another matter! Then quite simply. I come to the bank, asking: "You want to have his client steep Siberian peasant?"
- Fu-y, - is spoken in the bank.
- And if it will still be in-law, Rockefeller?
- Oh, another thing! Then - just a trifle. I got to the steep Siberian peasant and asked him: "Do you want to marry an ordinary American woman?"
- Grrr! - Says the man.
- And with a son-in Rockefeller?
- Oh! Another thing! Now - is sheer nonsense. I come to Rockefeller's daughter, asked:
- You want to have a husband, the Swiss bank?
- Fu-y, - she said.
- And if this is a cool Siberian peasant?
One man was sent home with written notice of the results of medical examinations which he passed a few days ago at the recruiting office. "Unfortunately, the need to tell you - it says - that the results of tests you are suffering from tuberculosis, venereal diseases and have a weak heart." An hour later I received another notice: "An error occurred. You got the results of another conscript. The man wrote a written response to this effect: "Sorry, but your correction came too late. I committed suicide 40 minutes ago."
On the beach near Arcas it under a big umbrella, sitting two friends and lead the conversation:
- I have a friend Englishman - says one of them, which makes miracles: dive into the Thames, and remained under water for about ten minutes. But, they say, lives in Marseille, the guy who remains under water almost half a day!
- Right, I know him, picks up a friend. - Besides, I had a colleague who dived into the sea near Nice, four and a half years ago, to break all records by staying under water. I then took a stopwatch and began counting: minute, ten minutes, an hour, two hours ...
- Stop, stop! In the end, how much time he spent in the water?
- If I knew it! He is still a port there is not popped!
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