Husband arrives home after a trip and the first thing is not in his apartment, and a neighbor. Asks him:
- Listen to my wife while I was gone, someone came?
- No, nobody was.
- What, for the entire month, anyone?
- For the entire month of anyone.
- Over a month - not a single man?
- Not a single man.
- Then I will not go!
The instructor asked the student, military topography, what better way to determine its location, he knows.
- Ask a local resident, sir.
funny one line jokes
Gen. Weston, who wants to show that he is interested in the life of soldiers, decided to go to the kitchen. There he met two men who carried the cauldron.
- Give me a try, what is it?
- But, sir ...
- Do not argue! Give me a spoon! After tasting the contents of the boiler, general and spat, twisting said:
- I think that this is not food. What do you say?
- We like to tell you, sir, that is not food and water after cleaning the boilers. But you have pressed ...
funny one liners jokes
- Do you now normal temperature, - said Sgt ordinary, touching his forehead.
- And you do not say what exactly? - Asked loafer.
- Somewhere between the kitchen and dress guard.
- Mummy, Mummy, and it is possible I will also wear a bra, because I have 14 years!
- Shut up, Jack.
joke one liner
- What is softer than anything?
- Fist. Even on the soft pillow placed under his head.
The visitor, leaning over the table at the reception of the hospital, asked the attendant if he could see the ordinary John Collins.
- I'm afraid not - the officer replied, for a moment looking up from his papers.
- Can you say at least how's he doing? - Insisted the visitor.
- Cause he is doing well - was the answer.
- Well, finally, I'm glad to hear it. And then I had a week lying in the ward, and nobody tells me nothing. Solid privacy. So I changed clothes and went here to inquire about his health.
The hotel Englishman down from his room, goes to the clerk and said: "Excuse me, would you be so kind to give me a glass of water?" "Please!" - Says the clerk and handed him a glass of water. "Thank you." - Meets the Englishman, taking a glass of water and returned to his room. It takes about ten minutes, the Englishman back down to reception and requested another glass of water. And so it is repeated several times. Finally the hotel, unable to bear, said: "Young man, take a pitcher!" - "Thank you." - Said the Englishman, taking a carafe of water and rises to his room. After a while he goes down with an empty jug and asked another carafe of water. In desperation receptionist exclaims: "How much you can drink!" To which hears the answer: "I do not drink. I have a room on fire."
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