The commander raised a company in the attack, and the soldiers shouting: "Hurray" rush forward. And one runs back and also shouts "Hurray".
- Stop! - Company commander shouted to him, - where are you going, cowardly hide, you run?
- Comrade Captain, I am not a coward. I have a tactical maneuver - obegu globe and marry them in the rear!
funny one line jokes
The instructor in the classroom with the Rangers (military sabotage and reconnaissance units) taught:
- A good ranger is always attentive to their surroundings, people and animals. He should be able to identify species of animals and even their number by the sound. Now I will see what you can do.
With these words he disappeared into the bushes, from which roared three times, very skillfully imitating the donkey. Returning to the group, he asked:
- Well, what animals and how many were in the bushes?
- A donkey - followed by a friendly response.
funny one liners jokes
Soldier in the hotel:
- I single hotel room, please. Reception:
- Hotel is not available, sorry.
- Well, maybe just one there?
- Well, at least some, the worst?
- But if I came to the defense minister, you would find a room?
- Well, if the Minister, it would have found, of course.
- Then give me his number, he did not come.
Well-oiled entity out of the bar and, barely moving, goes to his car. Approach it the policeman:
- Is it possible in this state to go to the car?
- And what I do, sergeant, you can see what I can not walk.
joke one liner
- Dr. I have memory lapses.
- And often do you have?
- What are "often"?
- Well failures.
- What the hell failures?
- What should I do if an atomic explosion?
- It is necessary to wrap in a sheet and slowly crawl to the cemetery.
- Why slow?
- In order not to create panic.
- Well, what can I do? My dream is to marry and never pleased her mother: not one of my girls do not like it ...
- Very easy! You should find one that looks like her.
- I found both father a scandal ...
Mature English lady talks to his adult son:
- John, You have reached the age when it comes time to think about marriage. Here, for example, Miss Hamilton - well-known name, a huge dowry, and not a bad one.
- Yes, I understand, my mother, but I do not like.
- Maybe Miss Anders? She has less well-known name, but also a good dowry ...
- You know, my mother, she does not like me too.
- Well, John, then tell yourself, for whom would you like to marry?
- I am sorry to say this, but I would like to marry the groom's ...
- Ka-ak! But he is a Catholic!
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