Young soldier on duty is on duty for the first time. Anxious, constantly adjusts his cap. Suddenly, in comes company commander. The orderly was confused, his mouth opened and the statute forgotten. Colonel him:
- Well, what you stand and say something, I ask you? Scream!
joke one liner
In med. Institute is an examination on anatomy. Lettings student who is at loggerheads with the professor, but: You know all the material. Professor, plagued sleep: - If you correctly answered all the questions put to five. He gets a jar of zaspirtovannym brain, asked:-Whose brain? Student: - the developer. P: - Correct. Why? with: - meanders a lot, but all straight. n: - Correct. (takes out another bank) And this is whose? with: - industrials. P: - Correct. Why? From: - meanders a lot, but all left, left ... P: - Correct. (Takes more) And this? From: - Bah! Military customers! P: - Correct. Why? From: - One gyrus, and she closed with myself! P: - Go, 4! C: - Why? P: - It does not bend, this is a trace of his cap!
The soldiers sat in the trench. One of them, a grim Texan, slowly rolled a cigarette, took it into his mouth and raised his head so that a cigarette poked out over the breastworks. Immediately followed by a shot of an enemy sniper. Bullet rubbed on the tip of a cigarette and set fire to it. Texan leaned back, puffed tobacco, and said:
- The sniper has never failed. Saves me a match.
- But, Alvin, is not it dangerous?
- No, I'm smoking is not inhaling.
Ryadovoi Madison sent with the report. Some time later, the sergeant found him sitting at the roadside.
- What are you doing here?
- As far as I know, the Earth rotates.
- So what?
- So I'm waiting for a place where I was sent, will drive itself to me.
one liner joke
The ship was torpedoed and began to sink. Landlubber, seeing that seasoned sailors tied themselves to a variety of subjects, tied himself to the anchor.
- What do you like a disease?
- Scratched and still want to.
- And what do not like?
- Hemorrhoids, or a watch, or show people.
One passenger of the other:
- If not for his mustache, then you would look like my wife.
- Excuse me, but I do not have mustaches.
- And it has.
English aristocrat late night calls from the club house. The tube takes a servant.
- Yes, sir!
- Come check it, which makes my wife. A minute later Tom returned and calmly reported:
- Sleeping with you, sir!
- What? Tom, take it in my office a gun and shoot them both! Tube no luggage: how to kill - to report. Twenty minutes later the man comes to call:
- Hello? Done, sir!
- Tom, why spend so much time fussing with them?
- Could not get in your wife, sir. She ran around the fountain in the living room.
- What are you talking about, Tom? I have no fountain in the living room!
- Excuse me, sir, but the fountain is.
- Oh, hell, it seems, once again I scored a wrong number ...
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