- Sarah, I heard your husband left on a business trip?
- Well, yes.
- So I look in to you this evening?
- How dare you! What am I, in your opinion, selling a woman?
- Well, Sarah! Who says money!
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Military driver Private Smith was taken to the Chief of Police. Head turned to the road to the police:
- So, you assume that the driver drove the truck in a drunken state?
- Here and assume nothing, - said the policeman. - He stood for an hour before the red lamp placed in front of the place where the road works are being waiting for that change to green light.
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On the morning building a sergeant thought that ordinary Vines violates alignment.
- Why do not you have taken the position of "attention"? - He made the remark ordinary.
- I am standing at attention, "- replied the soldier. - This is my form of sitting on me "at ease".
republican jokes
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Sergeant conducts briefings before landing on the island, occupied by the Japanese:
- During the beaches beware of sharks and barracudas. On the shore watching, do not step on a poisonous snake, they are many. Not to pick berries and fruits - can be poisoned. Do not drink water from local sources - can get dengue fever. Also, beware of predators and poisonous insects. All clear, any questions?
- Yes, sir. Tell me, why do we need to win the Japanese have such an island?
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- Get the ka-cake from the refrigerator, darling.
- Please. And how many pieces of it cut into four or eight.
- Please, for four. Eight I can not overcome.
funny one liner jokes
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- Why do some fathers are allowed to be present at birth?
- To compensate for the absence at conception!
great joke
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- Let me borrow a hundred dollars?
- I have only fifty ...
- Let's fifty, and fifty more will be.
Valet reported to Lord:
- My lord, your wife ran off with your driver.
- You see, John, I was right when he suspected that the driver of a very bad eyesight!
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