Private Mohnke was a great expert in devising reasons for the extraordinary dismissal.
- Sir, can I get dismissal tomorrow afternoon? - He once turned to the captain.
- Again, something with your grandmother? - Ironically, the commander said.
- You are right, sir. Tomorrow she is making his first parachute jump.
one liner joke
The officer in his civilian friend asks: "Is it true that you are civil, all military feel stupid?" He: "Oh no, you .."
- And if honest? I do not mind.
- Well, if you honestly believe that.
- So, means, - said the officer - but if you're so smart, what you are building do not go?
Infantry Division arrived at the shooting range. Suddenly, the sergeant discovered that boxes of ammunition there.
- Private Smith, ran to the barracks! - He commanded. - Look, there is not a box of ammunition. The young men rushed to obey, and soon returned to announce:
- Yes, sergeant, a box there. Lies in the right place at the Armory of the pyramid.
After night duty officer Michael Fenwick was released early home and arrived home at four o'clock in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he turned on the light, undressed in the hallway and quietly went into the bedroom. But he wanted to lie down, as the woman got up and a sleepy voice asked:
- Michael, dear, go, please, in the night drugstore and buy me some aspirin. I have a terrible headache.
- Of course, the sun, - said Michael, went into the hall, dressed and went to the pharmacy.
- Listen, - asked, astonished pharmacist, giving him an aspirin - if I'm not mistaken, you Sgt Fenwick Branch of the ninth?
- Yes, sir, it's me!
- So why you, damn it, pulled on the shape of a fireman?
funny one liner jokes
Chief meets with his subordinate and indignantly said:
- Again, drunk! Yesterday I was just happy to see you sober!
- And now my turn to be happy.
- Patrick Maloney's widow complained to me that you stole her best pig. Is this true?
- Yes, your reverence.
- Well, what have you done to him?
- Killed and ate it, your reverence.
- Patrick, Patrick! When you have to meet with the widow and the pig on the day of Judgement, what can you say in your defense?
- You say that you and the pig will be there, Reverend?
- Of course.
- Then I say to the widow, Reverend, here's your pig!
- Qom, where you broke up stockings?
- For the tank caught.
- For a tank?
- Yes, the shoulder straps.
Lord whispers to her maid:
- If you see me tonight, I'll give you a pearl necklace.
- And if you know about this lady?
- Then the necklace will get it.
next 75 76 77 78 79