Lover with his mistress lying in bed. She asked the partner:
- Favorite, you are very strong and did not fear that you will do if the husband is going to come?
- I would have it in a knot tied, hands and feet changed places, and poured into the toilet!
With loft distributed thin shaky voice:
- Figushki, I have two days on a business trip!
Strange things sometimes happen in the military. One big boss asked one of his officers to prepare a report on the heavy weapons. The officer either due to lack of time, whether by laziness rewrote several articles of the Great Encyclopaedia Britannica on the subject and handed them to court. After some time the Ministry of the Army has sent a circular in installments, based on the well-known to us the report, but marked "Top Secret".
funny one liner jokes
The classes to overcome the water barrier infantry units had to cross to the other side is a deep river on a raft.
- Ever been lost in this place? - Asked a timid soldier.
- No, - said the sapper. - In past studies, one soldier drowned here, but the next day we found him.
Sergeant Gordon, a champion of the shooting, this evening was set sentimental.
- Today is a significant day in my career master shooter - he told friends. - William Tell was born five hundred years ago. He was my idol when I was a kid. I remember how I and my bosom boyfriend went into the garden and there is my friend put me on the head of an apple, and I knocked him out of a slingshot. Today, my friend would have been thirty-four years.
- My husband loves to stroke my chin.
- On the first or the second?
- Can you lend me a hundred?
- In principle, no! Debts spoil the friendship. Is it worth this kind of a hundred?
- Then you know, lend me a thousand!
She wanted to marry girlfriend. He writes an advertisement: "I want to get acquainted with a businessman, a millionaire and so strong in the men's plan was." Waiting for an answer - no one, suddenly a month later the doorbell rang. Opens sees sitting on the threshold of disability, no hands - no legs:
- I ad. Friend:
- How to declare?
- Well I'm a businessman, a millionaire ...
- And in terms of both the male?
- You fool! So what do you think I'm in the door rang!
In the London club for the elite talk two Lord.
- Yesterday, at a reception at the Princess Polimbuk, - says one of them, - grandfather of Princess accidentally kissed my hand.
- And what happened?
- Tragedy. Congenital stroke forced me to the end of the evening to represent a woman.
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