Husband arrives from overseas trips. His wife meets, dinner cooked. My husband ate it and said:
- That's when I was there in the restaurant eating, each dish has a gold rim. A trifle, but nice! Then go wash your hands:
- But they have on each towel embroidered with a naked woman. A trifle, but nice!
- And here is a neighbor a member of 1 cm long. A trifle, but nice!
The soldier asked to go home for a few days, referring to the birth of his wife. Upon his return to barracks, the officer asked:
- So who do you born, boy or girl?
- How do I know? It turns out only after nine months.
After a night shooting the sergeant, checking how the soldiers cleared the weapon, said indignantly:
- Private Doyle, the bore of your rifle is so dirty, that through it you see nothing.
- Just it's still dark when night classes, - answered sloth.
An entry in the logbook: "Today is the first assistant was drunk"
A little lower arm first assistant: "Today, the captain was sober"
My wife plays the violin. Husband:
- Well, okay, stop it! Buy you a new dress!
A newcomer to the preacher's sermon blames those who trade on Saturdays. At the end of the sermon to him suitable merchant, shakes hands and gives a decent amount. Pleased with the preacher says:
- What, have I convinced you?
- I am really. But I saw that you convince others, and now I'm even on Saturdays will be freed from those damned competition!
one line joke
As always in a hurry, she ran over a pedestrian.
- Well, again! - Screaming victim. - Be careful, you and yesterday I was shot down!
- Excuse, - stammered the girl - I do not know ...
Lord Norman returned home unexpectedly and found her in her room janitor, who was sitting in an armchair in his dressing gown, smoking his cigar and drinking his whiskey.
- James, - growled Lord - why would you, at the same time, do not get into the bedroom for my wife?
- I would not mind, - "James said, - but have to wait until his escape gardener ...
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