Take up defensive unit to expect an attack from superior enemy forces.
The commander tried to raise the morale of his soldiers:
- Guys, we must keep calm. Composure - the main thing for a soldier in battle!
- Sir, - replied the soldier, - I had such cold blood, even teeth were chattering.
Soldier on guard at a nuclear installation, dozed off and leaned on the control panel. Upon entering duty officer, he started, jumped up and announced:
- Comrade Lieutenant, in my duty has happened!
- No, you say? And Belgium where ... your mother? Two extra duties!
Team soldiers sinkers boxes of ammunition in the truck.
- Beware, guys! - Alerting them to the sergeant responsible for loading.
- Last week, when loading ammunition onto a truck a whole team of seven men sprung into the air.
- Do not worry, Sergeant, - said one of the soldiers. - Our team only six people.
Sinks transatlantic ship. The captain announces on the radio:
- The first to sit in the boat passengers who bought tickets on credit!
- When you come home, what can be worse than the traces of lipstick on the collar?
- Traces of talc for feet on the ears.
one line joke
In the synagogue torn mercer Kaplan. But he had no ticket, and the sexton had not let him.
- Listen, I have an urgent matter! I have to immediately find the synagogue my partner and all with him to discuss!
- Alright then, - said shammes - in the case I'll let you. But do not even think to pray!
My husband had a long argument with his wife. Completely exhausted, he said:
- Okay, let it be yours.
- Too late! I've changed my mind!
Lord asked his servant:
- Tell me, James, what horses do you prefer?
- Well, sir, when I'm going to black, for some reason I feel like jumping on the gray, and when the gray, then think about black.
- And what do you prefer women, James? Blondes or brunettes?
- Well, sir ...
- Do not, James, I understand.
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