Little man, little one, from a business trip returned, see - strange clothes, his wife basked in bed, out of the bathroom came the sound of the water and the contented purr. Muzhichok boiled, ran into the bathroom, sees there strapping Ambala and started to jump: "I. .. ... will kill you!" No ... I ... ... you'll hit with an ax! "No ... I ... you ... I'll kill you! " He turns around, "Listen, dear, why do so: slaughter,'ll hit, kill ... You have horns?" Well, my butt. "
Officer scolding a soldier:
- Private, you are returned yesterday to the barracks drunk as a lord, and even pushed a wheelbarrow in front of them stolen!
- March under arrest!
- Yes! But perhaps you will remember that in this wheelbarrow were you!
The instructor taught the soldiers to throw hand grenades.
- Please be brave, pull out the pin, count to twenty-one and then throw a grenade. To his horror, he saw another soldier continues to hold the grenade longer than expected.
- Why do not you throw the grenade? - He cried.
- But I know how to count to a hundred, - the soldier answered.
Two young lieutenant started a dispute.
- You're a real idiot! - Shouted one.
- Are you a true idiot! - Answers the other.
- Hush, hush, because I'm still here - calming their captain.
dirty joke of the day
- Why did you come out onto the balcony, when your wife starts to sing?
- To no one thought that I beat her.
At one of the Pacific Islands traveler asks the native:
- You are not afraid to climb to such high palm trees to collect coconuts?
- And we did not climb, nuts resets the wind.
- And if there is no wind?
- Then we began hunger ...
- How are you, a respectable elderly man and stealing a car?
- Is it my fault that during my youth was not so many cars?
- What is a true gentleman?
- This is a man who kissed his wife takes out his pipe from his mouth!
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