In the plane talking two friends-stewardesses.
- How do you like, - said to one another - but I'm sure that the crew commander in collusion with the control tower in New York.
- You want to say that they could play a joke with anxiety about the bomb in an airplane?
- Exactly. You'll see, they put the plane on autopilot and come again, to feel everything, everything, everything ...
Soldiers of one unit picked up during a training exercise cute bulldog, and regard him as their talisman, gave him the nickname Sgt. In the barracks he was assigned to the recess, and on the blanket, which had sheltered him, it was calculated the three stripes. As a general favorite got to the office and chewed it a pile of some documents.
- Why do not cast out of this bastard, when he came here? - Pounced on the orderly officer on duty.
- Excuse me, sir, but I did not dare to do so, because he is my senior in rank.
dirty joke of the day
The sergeant told his soldiers:
- So, guys, I have for you two surprises: one bad, but another pleasant. First - you must now fill these bags up to the top with sand. And second, a pleasant, is that the sand here as long as you want!
- Captain! In the ship hole!
- On the left side, below the waterline.
- Ah, if anything, there is not noticeable.
- When I retire, it absolutely will not do anything. The first few months I will just sit in a rocking chair.
- And then?
- And then begin to swing ...
One preacher told me all the time about the wonders of paradise.
- Why do not you say about hell? - Asked him.
- This is not necessary, because hell, we will see for yourself.
- Can we determine the value of a male member on the nose?
- Can. But judging by the donkey, it is better on the ears.
Two gentlemen intended to clarify its relationship with the duel. After a long search they found only one seconds sword.
- Nothing, - said one of the duelists, - we shall fight on the queue.
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