Doctor patient:
- I have two news good and bad.
- What is bad?
- Do you have cancer ...
- A good one?
- Look at this laboratory assistant with big tits? So I fucked her this morning!
adult jokes
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yo mama jokes
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The new division commander, testing water supplies in part, asked the sergeant in charge of keeping what has been done to clean it.
- First we boil it, sir.
- Well, - adopted general.
- Then we run it through filters.
- Good, - said the commander.
- And then for a full guarantee, we decided to drink beer.
best jokes
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yo mama jokes
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In the Scottish Police School of the young trainee asked:
- What would you do if you alone had to break up a demonstration?
- I would remove his cap and began to be collected for charity.
clean jokes
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yo mama jokes
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- So, Private Collins, you engage in sports. What are your successes?
- Very good. I was released from all orders.
funny joke
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Abram unexpectedly returns home, goes into the kitchen and sees the following picture:
Some guy in his slippers and bathrobe fry eggs. Abram comes to the bedroom. There is a naked Sarah, on the face of bliss, on the bed traces stormy night.
- Sarah? What is it? What do you mean?
- Well, Abram, again start unfounded accusations, suspicions ...
joke of the day
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Scotsman asks his wife:
- What do you give a birthday?
- Law, Patrick, and I do not know ...
- Well, give the reflection for another year.
christmas jokes
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- Our chef Haskins told me that you picked up yesterday so cool that he even tried to roll out the barrel of the basement. Is this true?
- Yes, yesterday I drank a good.
- And where I was at this time?
- Where? You're sitting in a barrel ...
Sinks Titanic, drowning people. With lucky in lifeboat sails toward the distant shore. Week floats, other ... Finally, hunger becomes unbearable. Together to solve: the ancient custom of the sea to throw the lot - who are not lucky to eat. Ate a German, Frenchman ate, ate Russian ... It comes the turn of the Englishman.
- Allow the custom of my country to say a short speech!
- Well, only shorter!
- Ladies and gentlemen! I hope someone's out when you have a brochure of our beautiful ship!
- Yes!
- Please open a 30 page and read it!
- "Each lifeboat has a second floor, under which there is enough canned food and drinks for three months ..." Why did not you tell me about this before, we are people eating?
- You see, gentlemen, I personally can not stand canned.
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