Her husband returned home from a trip, comes into the house, and feels that his wife was a man ... The husband rushes to the closet and abruptly opened the door and sees a man in some swimming trunks. Husband asks:
- What are you doing here?
- Bus waiting.
- Well, you and pussy?
- Well you and ask ...
dirty joke of the day
There is an officer by a soldier's barracks. The mood is excellent, a joy ... Suddenly someone from the window of the 3rd floor of the barracks pours a bucket of mud ... Well, the officer-man restrained, but still people who are not alien to different kinds of emotions, in all sorts of situations ... He tries to shake off, then lifts his head and looks at the window, where it so "welcomed," Well, there certainly is no one ...
- Well, that, even lacking the courage to look ...- says officer
- Oh no, why ...- meet someone ... Protrudes from the window of someone's head in a gas mask ...
In the classroom for close combat soldiers asked the instructor if he did not touch him with a bayonet.
- No, everything is normal. Just do not swing as a bayonet, and then lifted from the wind you can catch a cold.
During the storm the captain through a megaphone to call to passengers:
- I ask men to keep calm! No panic! I ordered a boat load of women and children, take them away from the ship only to tell you a juicy anecdote!
- How it happened: go ahead, but were behind?
- It's okay, just go in the wrong direction.
- Holy Father, I sinned in that several times a day I look in the mirror and see how I am beautiful.
- Go on, my child. This is not a sin, it is a delusion ...
- Doctor! I turned blue egg!
- Need amputation. Amputated.
- Doctor! I have a second egg had turned blue!
- Emergency amputation! Amputated.
- Doctor! I'm a member of the livid!
- Immediate amputation! Amputated and thinks: "Maybe his jeans fade?"
One lady told the gentleman about her first husband:
- I met him at 20, and left him at 23.
- Yes, I think that three hours is enough.
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