Boat U.S. Coast Guard patrols near the shore. Fog, not a damn thing to be seen. Suddenly the fog appears a silhouette. Captain missing megaphone and shouted: - Immediately define yourself! - I said, immediately define yourself, or I you all to hell now blow up! - Thirty seconds, and I open fire! Lazy voice from the fog: - Open fire when you are ready. Before you battleship "Missouri" joke special ... very funny joke : The first sergeant saw through the window of a man who was walking on the location of the company. - Private Nelson, catch up and find out what the type - he ordered his subordinate. The soldier jumped out of the room and ran up to the unknown, turned to him: - Hey, mister! The sergeant sent me to know that you are a type ... - Tell your sergeant - the stranger replied (this was a new officer, recently sent a part of them) - that you complete fool, and he himself - an absolute idiot. The soldier returned to the sergeant. - Well, I found out who that is? - This is one of your friends. He knows you and even me. - How is it? - He called me a fool, and you idiot. one liners joke ... very funny joke : Leading a soldier to be shot. - Oh, lousy the weather - he says the guards. Guards: - Do not you growl - something we have to go back. silly joke ... very funny joke : The ship was moving slowly in a thick fog. Suddenly, in front of the lights. The captain loudly shouted into a megaphone: - Go away from the course, you dolt! This is the aircraft carrier Saratoga, with a displacement of thirty thousand tons! Out of the mist came the answer: - It is better to displace themselves. This - the lighthouse. joke cartoons ... Man comes to the doctor. - Doctor, I'm going to live? He examines it for a long time: - Live, yes, but to give birth ... unlikely. joke program ... - Do you love me?. - Yes. - And when married? - Well you can not so drastically change the subject ... retirement joke ... - Every night, Doctor, I dream: peredomnoy door with the inscription, and I knocked on her hands and feet but not like I can not open. Doctor: - And what a sign on the door? - "On himself" The old gentleman (running away at full speed from a bull and out of breath from behind the fence): - Ah, you cursed, ungrateful animal! But you know, for someone chasing? For those who all their lives was a vegetarian! next 98 99 100 101 102