Summer residents in the train.
- That I have grown apples - put it on a stool - a stool was broken, so much!
- It's that. I put my apple on the table - broke the table!
- And I grew up an apple, so I put it on the cart ...
- And that - broke the cart?
- No, but got a worm and ate a horse!
Once Sergeant Sandy Mac-Neb was appointed chief of the guard. After a set period of time he sent the guard, the corporal, to watch the last shift at 4 o'clock in the morning. Reaching out to the distant post, Diluting stumbled, fell from a cliff to his death. At this time, sergeant filled checkpoint statement in preparation for the changing of the guard. At the end of statements is Earl "Incidents in the guard." Sandy Mac-Neb, not knowing about the death of Corporal, wrote in this column: "No incidents happened. When he reported the accident, he was not having another instance of statements sent in the company office is already filled, hoping that both will come down. At 10 o'clock arrived in the office of the company commander reported the incident. Then he read the record in the guard statements, did not understand and bring about a change chief of the guard.
- Sergeant - he said angrily, - in its statements, you write that the accident did not happen, but this time your Diluting dies. What does that mean? Sergeant, being in a difficult situation, he took himself in hand and, keeping calm, replied:
- I do not see the incident for something special. Such, it would be, if corporal, having fallen from a height of hundred meters, would have remained alive.
A student at the school complained to drive sitting next to the instructor:
- Look at all the pedestrians! They do not know the basic rules of traffic. Such carelessness: one run before the machine, others and climb under the wheels.
- Calm down, my boy, - interrupted his instructor. - Let's move down from the sidewalk ...
- How many times have I warned you, Private Smith, so you will not be late in the system?
- I do not know, Sergeant. I thought you yourself think.
joke of the day
Sarah in the morning goes on the balcony: "Hey, Bella, my syphilitic you?". Bella faints. On the balcony goes Abram: "Sarah, how many times to repeat, not syphilitic, and philatelist.
Beggar knocking at the house.
- Madam, I have not seen for three days of meat.
- Sarah, show him the cutlet.
The next morning after a fight Alphonse comes into the bar and sees that the whole floor is covered with sawdust.
- Tell me, these filings piled to soak up blood stains?
- No, it is the remnants of yesterday's furniture.
Passing along the corridor of the hotel, the manager saw the boy, shoe shiner, who sat on the floor near the doors of hotel rooms and cleaning shoes.
- Why do you clean your shoes in the wrong place, where we have set? - Shouted in anger control.
- I can not, sir, - answered the boy. - This Scottish gentleman keeps them on the other side of the door for the laces.
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